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5 tahun ?

 


apa iya kalo kangen orang harus ngechat orang nya gitu?, padahal udah gak ada hubungan apa-apa 'dari awal' emang gak ada hubungan apa-apa hehe. gua bingung banget kalo kangen orang bawaanya pengen nangis dan keinget orang itu terus. 

jujur selalu ngerasa gak beruntung banget, kadang merasa gak berguna dan merasa gak akan jadi baik kalo di deketin siapa-siapa. gua bener-bener gak paham sama apa yang gua rasain. atau gua belum bisa ya mafaafin diri gua sendiri? 

atau gue belum bisa berdamai dengan diri sendiri? atau gua belum bisa sayang sama diri sendiri?. padahal kalo di pikir-pikir dia gak ada effort apa-apa buat gua. gak ada perjuangan nya sama sekali buat diri gua sendiri. 

padahal kalo di pikir-pikir dia gak bisa menghargai gua sebagai perempuan. gak bisa gitu. tapi, kenapa gua selalu keinget dia. keinget gimana kita dulu yang memperjuangkan hubungan yang gak pernah sampai, sampai detik ini. 

kalo di pikir-pikir 5 tahun gak jadi apa-apa basi aja gitu tapi, membekas di hati hehe. terntaya mengakhiri yang tak pernah di mulai itu sulit. 

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